Yes, yet another of these Mama blogs. Aren't there enough out there already? There may be. This sentence should be followed by a but, however, I am trying to avoid buts (I am not sure using however instead is better...), because it often leads to a negative thought. And this blog is not about negative thoughts. It is not about the bliss and eternal happiness blabla or the cutesie dutsie baby stuff with lots of baby pictures either. Quite the contrary. It is about the harsh realities of being a Mum and a parent. And that is where it may differ from much of what is out there already.
I am writing this blog to counter the myth of motherhood being all rainbows and butterflies that is so persistently perpetuated in our society. I want to break the taboo around post-partum depression and speak about how difficult it really is raising a (high-need) baby (I'm not sure I like that label, but more on that in one of my posts). I want to write about what being a (new) Mum and parent can really be like. I'm not saying that it's the same for everyone, I would simply like to share my story and thoughts with all of you new (and old) Mums and Dads out there.
This blog will be about being torn between being a Mum and being who we are, about post-partum depression and sleep deprivation, about raising a high-need baby, about the very difficult first many months, about all the challenges that come with being a Mum or Dad, about the fact that we can't have it all - a career, a baby, hobbies and a well-functioning, fulfilling partnership - without burning out, about what being a Mum or parent actually means, about finding ourselves as new mothers, about travelling with babies, about raising babies naturally, about how we treat our babies and ourselves, about self-compassion and self-kindness, about transforming our internal conflicts and conflicts with and between our children, about nonviolent communication, about raising our babies and children without punishment, shouting, yelling, and scolding, about attachment parenting, and many more a topic of concern to new, old and to-be Mums and Dads.
This is to share the bad and the ugly, the tragic and the sad, but also the happy moments, and not to forget the funny ones. It will be raw and honest. Most of it will be short, as I don't really have much time to sit down and write. As a matter of fact, much of this has been written while I was walking with my baby strapped to my back, or lying down while I nursed her, or sometimes actually sitting down, albeit on the toilet, in these rare moments when she is distracted enough by the mythical realm that is the bathroom and I did not have her on my lap and thus have my hands free to type. Or, as I became mother to a second child, and my first baby grew into a toddler, finding those rare moments when the two of them would play without me having to interfere to resolve and transform their conflicts (by the way, 6-10 conflicts an hour on average between kids are normal… this just in). As this is for Mums and Dads, I'm sure you will appreciate most of these posts being short and quick to read on the go!
You will find me mostly just jotting down my thoughts. So don't expect structure, grammar and bullet-proof spelling or literary climaxes. I also have the tendency to write ultra-long, convoluted sentences, it's my German heritage and the way my brain thinks. Bear with me, please.
I'm aiming to publish at least a post or two a month, but please don't expect that to happen the same day or time every week.
I have found that writing things down helps me to process, resolve and transform and ultimately understand myself better and feel better. This is one reason for writing this blog. But the main one is the following: If there is only one new Mum or Dad out there who is encouraged by what I have to share, or feels relieved about not being the only one, I have achieved my goal. It was the exchange with other new Mums and Dads that helped me get through these incredibly difficult, hard, draining, taking-my-all first many, many months after giving birth. And I am eternally grateful to you, you know who you are! Now it is time for me to give back, from the bottom of my heart.
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